For most of my thirty ninth year I was obsessed with turning the big 4-0. I tortured myself on the scale each day determined to lose 10 pounds before THE BIG DAY. I vowed to go to the gym. I promised to start a college fund for the younger boys. I made my family swear we wouldn't celebrate, and my work friends were sworn to secrecy. Instead of acting on all my good intentions I had the extra slice of pizza, the double scoop of ice cream. And the gym, well I started many on-line applications. All in all, I was a terrible sitcom stereotype of a woman about to turn forty. The whole time my mother and father kept telling me to celebrate 40 "it's the big day".
As the weeks progressed and my birthday came nearer my mother's mantra "Celebrate 40" got louder and louder. Her subtle hints, became cries for a party invitation list. I resisted.
The more I said I don't want to make a fuss, the more determined she was that I would "celebrate 40". Eventually I gave in, telling myself at first it was for my mother and my younger sister who had joined my parents in the quest for me to "celebrate 40".
About a month before THE BIG DAY a funny thing happened. I started looking forward to turning 40. I stopped looking at gym websites and got myself a workout buddy. I stopped closing my eyes when I got on the scale, and focused on eating better. I picked up a birthday outfit to wear to my party. I even chased a life long dream to own a vacation home in the mountains. I cherished every hug from my boys. I laughed at the "over the hill jokes" my husband, family and friends threw at me. I celebrated LOUDLY.
I still turned 40. I still weigh more than I'd like to. I still stare at the wrinkles getting deeper on my face. But now, instead of cringing I smile. I celebrate.
Thank you family and friends for helping me celebrate, and celebrate loudly!
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Friday, September 16, 2011
Symbols Bring Americans Togther, Even at Work
On Wednesday evening I had the pleasure of hosting corporate guests at Rangers Stadium. This was a particularly fun evening because both the Texas Rangers, and their rival for the evening, the Cleveland Indians, are clients. Both IT managers were there to share baseball stories and their experiences of working with us. The beer was resting comfortably in ice, and there was enough ball park food laid out for every one of us to indulge across all nine innings.
The game had not yet started but our suite was full. The 18 of us had split into small groups of 2-3 people making introductions, talking about the evening ahead, generally getting to know each other. While some people braved the 100 degree+ heat to enjoy the outside seats, I sat comfortably inside the glass walls with the A/C cranking along with about half of our guests. As we chatted, the pre-game activities began on the field below. Batting practice, interviews on the big screen, loud music designed to pump up the crowd. Our group talked pleasantly over all of this. And then it was silent.
Without a word, everyone had stopped virtually mid-sentence and turned their bodies towards the field. We stood silently without hesitation, most with hand on heart, as a young man sung our national anthem. When it was over, we all turned to each other and picked up our conversations, right where we had left off.
It was a striking moment for me. With the rising debt crisis, presidential election politics in full swing, and constant debate about everything from Healthcare reform, to whether Cher's gender changed son (formerly daughter) should Dance with the Stars brewing it's easy to forget we're all Americans.
But at that moment, most of us strangers to each other, we ALL respected what it meant to be an American. As our politicians create fodder for Saturday Night Live Sketches, and our towns struggle to balance their budgets pausing for even just 5 minutes reminds us why we care so much and what it really means to be American. Cherish those moments - we're going to need them.
The game had not yet started but our suite was full. The 18 of us had split into small groups of 2-3 people making introductions, talking about the evening ahead, generally getting to know each other. While some people braved the 100 degree+ heat to enjoy the outside seats, I sat comfortably inside the glass walls with the A/C cranking along with about half of our guests. As we chatted, the pre-game activities began on the field below. Batting practice, interviews on the big screen, loud music designed to pump up the crowd. Our group talked pleasantly over all of this. And then it was silent.
Without a word, everyone had stopped virtually mid-sentence and turned their bodies towards the field. We stood silently without hesitation, most with hand on heart, as a young man sung our national anthem. When it was over, we all turned to each other and picked up our conversations, right where we had left off.
It was a striking moment for me. With the rising debt crisis, presidential election politics in full swing, and constant debate about everything from Healthcare reform, to whether Cher's gender changed son (formerly daughter) should Dance with the Stars brewing it's easy to forget we're all Americans.
But at that moment, most of us strangers to each other, we ALL respected what it meant to be an American. As our politicians create fodder for Saturday Night Live Sketches, and our towns struggle to balance their budgets pausing for even just 5 minutes reminds us why we care so much and what it really means to be American. Cherish those moments - we're going to need them.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Managers: Be Dispensable
I was once provided feedback that I should trust my team more. At first I was shocked. My team was great. I rewarded them well, we had fun working together and we kicked butt meeting our challenging objectives. I told them all the time how much value they added to the business, but also to me personally. Then I thought about it. I had NEVER taken a vacation without extensively checking email and responding with guidance and I had NEVER given a team mate official purchasing authority. I told them to make decisions and I had their back, but I was also a constant presence. Don't get me wrong - I'm still a type A personality, but I took that feedback to heart. I used my summer family vacation to test my progress. Could I go the entire 8 business days without calling into the office or checking email?
If you manage people your goal should be to make yourself dispensable. But before you roll your eyes and stop reading let me clarify being dispensable doesn't equate to not adding value. All of us should strive to add guidance, creative ideas, strategic insigts but that doesn't mean our teams should be dependant upon us for their own success. Instead we should prepare our teams to be successful and give them the confidence to do their job without you. I remind myself that if they need me, they WILL call. If you need some motivation to try this on your own think about this.
What if you could:
* Go on vacation REALLY - that means not sneaking email checks before everyone gets up in the morning
* Stop triple scheduling yourself because you HAVE to attend meetings with your team members
* Accelerate your ability to train new staff by assigning a mentor
And if selfish motivation to give yourself more time and less stress isn't enough; think about the reduced risk you provide your business when you ensure the team has your back.
I'm not advocating being unavailable, but I am telling you that you and the people who you are developing will be so much more productive if they have confidence in doing their job without you. As a manager you should be aiming for the team to WANT you there, not need you to be there. Try it on your next day off. It just might stick.
p.s. I didn't quite meet my goal on vacation. No phone calls into the office, but I did check email 3 times. But 3 times is a heck of a lot better than twice a day! I give myself a B+.
If you manage people your goal should be to make yourself dispensable. But before you roll your eyes and stop reading let me clarify being dispensable doesn't equate to not adding value. All of us should strive to add guidance, creative ideas, strategic insigts but that doesn't mean our teams should be dependant upon us for their own success. Instead we should prepare our teams to be successful and give them the confidence to do their job without you. I remind myself that if they need me, they WILL call. If you need some motivation to try this on your own think about this.
What if you could:
* Go on vacation REALLY - that means not sneaking email checks before everyone gets up in the morning
* Stop triple scheduling yourself because you HAVE to attend meetings with your team members
* Accelerate your ability to train new staff by assigning a mentor
And if selfish motivation to give yourself more time and less stress isn't enough; think about the reduced risk you provide your business when you ensure the team has your back.
I'm not advocating being unavailable, but I am telling you that you and the people who you are developing will be so much more productive if they have confidence in doing their job without you. As a manager you should be aiming for the team to WANT you there, not need you to be there. Try it on your next day off. It just might stick.
p.s. I didn't quite meet my goal on vacation. No phone calls into the office, but I did check email 3 times. But 3 times is a heck of a lot better than twice a day! I give myself a B+.
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